Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
