we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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