Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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