Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
