i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You're earring is so big in my mouth
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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