Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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