I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
