o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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