He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize