I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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