Plan B is the new Plan A
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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