Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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