i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
