Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
