Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
