Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
