The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
