This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
