I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
