what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
