why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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