What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
