Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I want is dick and wine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
