Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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