Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
