I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
