Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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