What a fucking waste of an outfit
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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