Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
