I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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