I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize