Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
