Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
