do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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