Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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