Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
