one might say we're banned from that church
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Alive.
So much puke
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
