So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
