i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
