HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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