he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
