sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
