Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize