Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
