he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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