I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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