i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to make out with him forever
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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