the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
