id be glad to
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
