If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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