y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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