Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
