If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
