I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
