you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
