i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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