oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
