He kissed a someone with a penis
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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