ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
