I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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