My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
