She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it glows. i had to have it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
